Flatulence is NOT a Laughing Matter

Remember “Pull my finger” from primary school. You had enough control over your gas that you could blow wind on command and if you timed it just right you and the finger puller would fall to the ground laughing when a loud fart blasted in response to pulling the trigger.

It seemed like kids had so much gas. Farting all day long. Fake farting by blowing into your elbow or bellowing your armpit and the air suction would make a big “Wiffffff!”

Oh what fun!

Discovering gas and it becoming part of everyday life. If I had been sent to the principle every time I farted and laughed, I would have spent more time there than in class.

Was this just a childhood phenomenon?

We think not.

As I got older gas was still part of daily life. I learned to covertly mask it. As I got into relationships, I learned to hold it in, or leave the room to not stink my partner out of house and home. Or let a putter out slowly and softly and point at the dog. Which, by the way, is what most women do. Don’t try to tell me women don’t “pass gas”. They break the First Law of Farting: Thou shalt never suppress gas, as your head will explode and kill you.

WebMed says farting is normal and humans fart about 20 time a day. It’s caused by eating air and the normal bacteria breaking down of food process in our intestines that off-gasses, hydrogen, carbon monoxide, and methane.

Being a health nut, I didn’t trust WebMed and I experimented with some of the recommended natural remedies like: Chamomile, Dill, Fennel, Basil, Caraway, Cumin, Parsley, Peppermint, Spearmint, I had no relief. Ginger tea seemed to help reduce the symptoms but never cured the problem. Farting just kept coming back and telling me, “Buddy, I’m hear to stay. I’m a part of life.”

It wasn’t until I began the Primal Diet that I learned something quite surprising.

Gas, is NOT normal.

As a matter of fact, gas means there is something seriously wrong with digestion.

Here is the Biochemistry:

We have certain enzymes that break down macro-nutrients. Protease breaks down proteins. Amylase breaks down carbohydrates. Lipase breaks down fats. The majority of the amylase is in the saliva and the protease is in the small intestines. So, carbs are mostly digested in the mouth and meats in your gut. Acids in the system also help break down bolus. Our digestive tract is like a chemistry lab that responds positive or negatively with the introduction of certain elements and compounds.

Primary Causes of Flatulence:

1. Webmed says the number one cause is, “Eating beans, grains, fruit, vegetables, sodas, milk, and fruit drinks cause flatulence because we don’t digest them.”

2. Bad Food Combining – Eating proteins combined with carbs activates both of these enzymes creating a conflicting chemical reaction and an incomplete digestive process for all involved.

3. Over or under chewing – We have been told to chew 30 times before swallowing. Well, now that we know that amylase is in the saliva, this becomes good advice for vegetarians, or herbivore because plant food needs to have the cell wall broken down and the amylase thoroughly mixed in to do its job. This is counterproductive, on the other hand for carnivores. It doesn’t do a bit of good to try and predigest proteins in your mouth. It actually becomes a chemistry clash where the amylase slows down the digestion to happen in the protein and makes it harder for protease to do it’s job in the gut.

4. Genetics – Some people are genetically pred-disposed to NOT be able to digest (don’t have the enzymes) certain macro-nutrients. So, if you are genetically predisposed to not be able to digest yellow vegetables, it will ferment in your gut and cause gas.

5. Eating Cooked Foods – Cooking kills the live digestive enzymes in your food. Nature perfectly includes the enzymes to break down Fuji apples, guess where, inside the raw Fuji apple. When we cook the apples we kill these perfect enzymes. So, now you need to use your own digestive enzymes to help digest the apple. This is not comparing apple to apples. Our enzymes are good but not perfect to digest the Fuji apple. So we end up with incomplete digestion, fermentation, and gas.

6. Drinking water with your meal – Water actually neutralizes stomach acids so they are not as concentrated for breaking down food, so the bolus sits there undigested and ferments.

What are Real Solutions?

1. Stop eating carbs in general – WebMed says this causes gas, but I don’t know why they don’t then come right out and recommend not eating these items. Carbs are high in sugars which ferment in the gut. The fermentation process releases hydrogen, carbon dioxide, and methane. Also, some carbs have enzyme inhibitors in them. This is a protective mechanism for grains and seeds. These inhibitors actually upset the digestive system and make it difficult to digest foods, warning humans to leave this plant alone. Plants are fairly defenseless unless you are poison ivy or thistles. Enzyme inhibitors are another self-preservation weapon for some plants.

When I stopped eating carbs, I stopped having gas.

WebMed you are Right On!

My personal experience with RAW dairy is NO GAS. Pasteurized dairy is YES GAS. Sometimes if I drink raw dairy COLD or drink it with vegetables (carbs) I will have gas. If you get gas from raw milk, try drinking it at room temp or predigest the sugars in the milk with kefir grains or yogurt bacteria then your now carb-free dairy drink will result in no gas. FYI, milk has a more equal representation of all three macro-nutrients – Protein, Carbs and Fats in it’s make up.

2. Eat proteins and carbs separately. Aajonus recommends waiting 45-minutes to an hour between the two. This works for me.

3. Don’t chew your protein. – I give meat one crush with my molars and swallow. VIOLA! NO GAS.

4. Avoid foods that you are genetically predisposed NOT to digest. – If you don’t digest broccoli, don’t eat broccoli.

5. Don’t cook your food. – I have eaten all my meats and dairy raw for 25 years and NO GAS!

6. DO NOT DRINK WATER WITH YOUR MEAL. – I would go on to say don’t drink excessive fluids with your meal. It will dilute the gastric acids and make it harder to digest.

I’m not sold on the eating air concept as a contributor to gas. My experience is that this comes right back up in the form of a burp and never makes it through the entire digestive system to come out the other side. Sorry WebMed.

My wife will testify, I have NO gas. No Body order. No stinky stuff coming out of my pores, my armpits or my butt. Not 20 times a day. Not 10 times a day. Almost NEVER.

The only time I have gas, is when Asa blows raspberries on my belly, I sit on a whoopee cushion, or I break my dietary guidelines.

We don’t do fake farts or finger pulling, because flatulence is NOT a part of our family experience. The dogs don’t eat carbs or cooked food either, so we can’t even blame them.

All the while, 99% of the population just goes on farting, trying to hide it. Making jokes to diffuse the awkwardness, taking medications to stop the symptoms, or holding it in until someone’s head explodes. It’s funny as a kid, but passing gas will inevitably destroy your health and your relationships.

Flatulence is a warning sign that the system is OFF like running diesel fuel in an unleaded engine and you get misfiring like chitty-chitty bang bang.

If you this long enough, you will destroy your engine and end up with someone with a bunch of letters after their name telling you that you have Irritable Bowel, Celiac Disease, Crohn’s Disease, Ulcerative Colitis, or Gastric Enteritis.

And now, a little gas is no longer a laughing matter.

WebMed, The Digestive System and Gas
Primal Diet, Aajonus Vonderplanitz
Recipe for Living Without Disease, Aajonus Vonderplanitz
We Want to Live, Aajonus Vonderplanitz
Enzyme Nutrition, Robert Howell
What Must I Do to Get Well? And How Can I Keep So, Elma Fraser Stuart


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